Brain

original 5+

By on February 3, 2016

First post in a while as I’ve been otherwise occupied.

I started my Kerfree break on January 18 and on January 22 I flew home to be with Mom and Dad.

Dad needed a blood transfusion and he seemed to be doing significantly worse than the week before.  I thought it would be a good idea to spend some time with him while he was good enough for quality time.  As a bonus my sisters were home and we were having some #original5 quality time as well.

On top of watching hilarious movies with Dad, I thought I would have time for reading my book, working on my course, writing in my damn journal, maybe even a couple blog posts!  Well, that didn’t happen.  I had to withdraw from my business course.  I didn’t write in my damn journal/planner once.  I didn’t even read a page of my book.  Two of the days I got less than 500 steps.

I can’t even really say what we did.  Sure, we watched a couple movies.  We made a few meals.  Enjoyed visiting with some company.  Every night we went to bed exhausted.  If I spend a minute thinking about it, it was pure emotional exhaustion.  Everyday we keep a leg in the positive camp of “maybe this will make everything better and I think he’s better today” and a leg in reality camp of “how much more time do we have and maybe he looks worse today”.

I always thought it would be better to have a long goodbye.  A chance to say the things you need to say.  And while I know an unexpected death has it’s downfalls, this long goodbye has its downfalls too.  Watching my big strong Dad waste way just fucking sucks.

Cancer is eating away at his body.  But his strength runs deep.  This man is not giving up.  And he has the #original5+ with him watching and learning what STRENGTH and COURAGE really means.

 

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4 Comments
  1. Reply

    Donna

    February 3, 2016

    I found your blog very difficult to read, Kerri. I had to go and take breaks because I knew what was coming in the next paragraphs. I understand and can relate to all you’ve said, especially about what you’d planned and how it all turned out.

    I had a principal one time (and I can’t remember the circumstances or the exact words) but he commented that (maybe his father) he had shown him how to live, and now he had shown him how to die.

    I so admire and respect the #original5+ for all your support to each other. Your mom and dad have truly done so much right to have raised you three girls!

    • Reply

      Kerri

      February 4, 2016

      I forgot to mention, the original5+ includes everyone else in our circles -husbands, kids, friends, aunts and uncles and cousins who have shown our family so much support over this year. We are so grateful.

  2. Reply

    Jodie

    February 3, 2016

    #original5 are the gold standard in love, support, fun and craziness. I love you Kerri, and thanks for writing that.

  3. Reply

    Aunty Sheryl

    February 7, 2016

    Yeah Kerri – I’m with Aunty Donna – when I got the email about this new blog and seen the title I thought to myself this is probably gonna be hard to read – so I didn’t open it till now – I just love reading your stories – their so well written – humorous – insightful – deep – and of course come right from the heart. The #original5 never cease to amaze me. Love you so much ?

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